KING KO INN

king salmon, Alaska

One statement on this page is incorrect. Which one ?




 


A (Recontructed) 315-Year History of the Ko

E-mail us the the one entry you question.)


MAY 1698
Tae Cho-yong flees to Manchuria, founds kingdom of Parhae and crowns himself "King Ko"

APRIL 1950 (or so)
Edwin Seiler opens the Skytel in King Salmon - later to become known as the King Ko Inn
(proof!)

JUNE 1960
First public performance of "White Rabbit" by Naknek's own Grace Slick

FEBRUARY 6, 1964
The Beatles make their first US concert appearance at the Skytel (proof!)

APRIL 1971
John Koropp, Eddie Oakes and "another guy" purchase and remodel the Skytel. Eddie Oakes suggests that it reopen as the King Ko Inn - go figure

JULY 1980
John Denver thrown out of the Ko by Ko manager, Freda Burdick, after he repeatedly ordered and returned a blended pink breakfast drink that he claimed was being made incorrectly. The next day, the King Ko blender was ceremoniously shot at sunrise and has never been replaced.

JULY 1985
Tani Rae and Mark design jumping salmon logo for the Ko. Fifteen years later, they demand $34 million from Nike when they discover that their salmon looks like a swoosh when inverted and splattered with beer

AUGUST 1985
The Ko introduces women's kickboxing to Bristol Bay - local feminists threaten to burn their fly rods

FEBRUARY 1993
Inventor of the margarita dies - but his spirit lives on at the Ko (rocks ... not blended of course)

MAY 1993
First Annual King Ko de Mayo

JUNE 1993
Mortimer Puppet, a Howdy Doody look-alike, disappears unexpectedly - never to return

JULY 1993
Olivia Newton John wins over local fishermen by shooting 4 hours of pool without once attempting to sing

SEPTEMBER 1994
"The Caribou" dance craze originates on floor of the Ko

MARCH 20, 1995 (11:00 pm)
The renovation of the original King Ko Inn begins rather unexpectedly

MAY 1995
First ever King Ko de Fryo

JUNE 1995
Broadcast of NBC movie costarring Michael J. Fox and the missing Mortimer Puppet

AUGUST 1995
Grand opening of the newly-renovated King Ko Inn

AUGUST 1996
The Ko introduces draft beer to Bristol Bay - the Bay would never be the same

JULY 1996
Cheech slums at the Ko while his Tin Cup buddy hides out in fear of being recognized ... later his buddy comes in for five hours and his fear is proven unfounded - Kevin who?

JANUARY 1997
American Express no longer accepted - reel fishermen don't use Amex

MARCH 1997
King Ko honored as one of North America's Greatest Fishing Lodges

JULY 1997
The Ko says "No" to Maggie B - our customers toast our stand with MGD

JULY 1998
The Ko's old restrooms are posthumously honored as having had the best graffiti in Bristol Bay in "Fishing Up North: Stories of Luck and Loss in Alaskan Waters" by Brad Matsen

FEBRUARY 1999
To the Ko's delight, Maggie B is shown to the door and Bud once more begins to pour

MARCH 1999
Sports Afield names King Salmon "Alaska's Best Outdoor Town" and recommends the Ko for cabins and mo

SEPTEMBER 1999
A suddenly-naked patroness gives new meaning to working out on the Ko's "staremaster"

MARCH 2000
Once again, Sports Afield recommends staying at the Ko when visiting "Alaska's Best Outdoor Sports Town"

NOVEMBER 2000

The Ko's bartenders are immortalized in Yukon Ryder's hit single "King Salmon".  (Hopefully, it's playing in the background.)

AUGUST 2002
A former Oakland Raider upstages the band by prancing around in his boots (and little else) until our diminutive bartender handles the situation. Two years later, this 6' 6", 290 lb behemoth becomes the WWE world champion despite his previous loss at the Ko

AUGUST 2004
King Ko introduces wet beer bib contests to Bristol Bay, but the contest is abruptly canceled when too many contestants irresponsibly lose their bibs before the contest begins.

SEPTEMBER 2004
After a national faux pas, the Ko gets a new anchor - one that would Rather sit all night, drink scotch, listen to Jr's music and leave with our rocks glass.

APRIL 14, 2006
Unveiling of the (now famous) King Ko crabpots. The $100 1st prize for the best lady dancer brings hoots of protest from liberated men who want to compete for the women's prize money rather than the paltry $50 men's purse. Later, bearded female dancers begin to appear in the women's bracket when they learn that we don't require chromosome tests to enter

AUGUST 3, 2006 (3:30 am)
Another example of the Ko being often imitated but never equalled - but this time our river view is greatly improved

SEPTEMBER 2006
An agent drops by and orders his drink - shaken, not stirred. He reorders and our bartender is heard to say "Roger, one moore." Later that knight -and a buddy looking a lot like Maud Adams - show up in costume to party - undercover of course

February 2007
The 4th Edition of Best Places Alaska purports to list "the best places that Alaska has to offer." The Ko is the only Bristol Bay enterprise so recognized. THANKS, BUT WHAT WERE WE PRIOR TO THE FOURTH EDITION - DOG MEAT?

APRIL 2007
Male exotic dancing is introduced to Bristol Bay. Those in attendence note that "it was no big thing." Local fishermen smile and smugly toast one another.

JANUARY 2008
After ten years, an Alaskan busch distributor decides to repeat history with the Ko - proving beyond question that this Bud is no wiser. But rest assured that our faithful friend Kemosabe - the man with the silver bullet - will always show up to save the day.

APRIL 2010
The King Ko welcomes its first third generation employee. We quickly learn, however, that just because your two Grandmas and both your parents previously worked at the Ko, it doesn't mean that you can be expected to walk across the Ko grounds without spraining your ankle again and again and again. Good way to get out of housekeeping detail.

JUNE 2010
A visit by the Gov proves that the Ko is as highly regarded in Alaska as it is in the U.K. - although for two Knights in '06 - moore caine was certainly raised at the Ko than by the Gov during his visit. If only the Gov were not so pale in comparision to those Knights.

SEPTEMBER 2010
A golden bear enters the Ko after unsuccessfully trying to gain access to one of our guest cabins. But shed no tears for this poor Buckeye. Life is good, as this bear sets a standard that is unattainable by a certain philandering tiger. Going flyfishing with his mama bear of 50 years just makes the contrast between he and the tiger that much greater. We were honored by your visit.

JUNE 21, 2011
The King Ko inaugurates western Alaska's first Shadow Screen. Cudos to our bar manager for deciding to introduce it on the longest (and brightest) day of the year? IT'S A SHADOW SCREEN - DAH! Unexpectedly, the inaugural contestants seize the opportunity to get a few things off their chests - but nobody complained.

MAY 2012
The King Ko receives a call from a Borough representative complaining that a picture found on Facebook shows two bar patrons comparing one's cleavage to the other's butt crack.  Noting that the picture may have been taken inside the Ko, we are warned that the Borough "looks down" upon such tawdry displays. We assure the Borough that we too look down upon such displays.  Luckily, the furor subsides when Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, flaunts much more while vacationing in southern France.

DECEMBER 2012
The Ko's bartenders are ONCE AGAIN immortalized, this time by a line of cuddly dolls, each bearing a striking resemblance to last summer's staff (Take a peek! Some parts not to scale).

JULY 2013
 
Customers grow weary of the speaker seated at the end of the bar railing on how the government should be shut down, only to learn that this tool stands just behind the VP in the line of succession to Obama.  No wonder the place is crawling with secret service.  Shhhh.

SEPTEMBER 2013
Once again faced with a tool seated at the end of the bar, the adventure goes from Vicarious to first hand for our house band when, on stage, they discover who this Tool really is.

FUTURE MILESTONES
The Ko becomes recognized as America's best attitude adjustment center

A surfer visits our website and accuses us of being tasteful and tactful



 

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